ESSENCE: The Key To Getting What You Really Want

Ep #14: ESSENCE: The Key To Getting What You Really Want 

Hello and welcome to episode 14. Do you want to know the key to getting what you really want? Well, I'm sharing that in today's episode and I'm pretty sure this is going to be a huge game changer for you. The tool is what I call Essence, and I'll explain all about it in today's show. 

So I'm sitting here in my office. It's early morning. That first light is coming through. It's still quiet outside. I'm looking up out onto the green hills because we've had some rain this year and what's usually very brown and dry is now green. It's really beautiful. I've just made myself a cup of ginger tea and it smells so amazing. I grate actual ginger root into my cup. It's probably about one or two tablespoons of ginger. And then I add boiling water, a squeeze of lemon, and a drop of honey.

I just love fresh ginger. I used to buy a fresh ginger juice from Woolies. If you're in Namibia, you know we love our specialty Woolies food, but I've stopped buying that juice because they changed the recipe. It used to taste very gingery, but now it tastes more like apple juice with a little hint of ginger. And I know they need to add apple juice or whatever to their fresh juices, but I feel like they're adding way too much apple and not enough ginger because ginger is probably more expensive. But I want the essence of ginger, not the essence of apple. I can buy apple juice if I want the overall essence of apple. And this is actually what I want to talk about today. Essence, the essential, the main ingredient, the overriding attribute. When you reduce something down as far as it can go to its purest form, you get the essence of the thing. 

So, I want to talk about the essence of your dreams, your goals, your wishes, the essence of whatever it is that you want to manifest. Because when you boil down your dreams down to their purest essence, that is really what you truly want — sometimes and usually even more than the thing itself. 

So let me explain what I mean here. Think of something you want, something you'd love to have or do, or be or experience, and just name it, whatever it is, and then say why you want the thing. All right, let's do an example. So, let's say you want a promotion. You've got your eye on a specific promotion at your company, and you want it bad. You're convinced that once you get this promotion, you're going to be happy. You'll have more money. You'll have more authority. You'll have more status. You'll get more respect. You'll have more power. And you want all those things, so getting the promotion, you think will make you happy once you have all those things. 

Then let's say you get the promotion and then you find after some time that you're not actually getting the respect that you were hoping for. And the extra authority and power that came with the promotion actually isn't all that great, it falls a bit flat. And no one really cares about the extra status you might have picked up with this promotion. But you do have more money, so that's good. 

But if you're honest with yourself, you feel disappointed. You feel confused. Where's the happiness that I thought I was going to feel when I got this promotion or whatever your example was, the thing that you wanted. Suddenly you're second guessing yourself and wondering what's going wrong here. 

So, what is actually happening here is that you haven't connected with the essence of your wish. You hadn't actually identified the true essence of your goal or getting the promotion or whatever your goal was. The real reason you wanted what you wanted. And this can happen to us in so many ways, right? We think we want something because we think it's going to make us happy or give us X, Y or Z, but we don't take the time to really think about what kind of happy we're looking for. What's really the essence of the happy we're looking for?

Sometimes people do this with relocating to another city or another country. They're not exactly happy where they are and they think moving is going to solve their problems and make them happy. Once they're on the other side, you know, there on that side with the greener grass, they'll be happier. And then they uproot themselves, they move across the country or move overseas and find that, no, the grass isn't really greener. And this new place didn't give them what they thought it would.

So what I love to show people to do whenever you set out to attain a goal or manifest a big dream, is to identify the essence or essences of this dream. This is so important because if you don't know the real reason of what you want, or in other words, why you want it, the real reason you want it, then you can go through life manifesting all kinds of things and experiences and then when you get them, you can't understand why you still feel unhappy or unsatisfied, or even depressed, anxious or empty. 

Because here's the thing: when you have a wish for anything in life, whether it's more money, your dream home, your dream career, finding your soulmate or traveling around the world, anything, what you're really wishing for is the feeling you think having that thing or experience is going to bring you. There is no exception to this.

Absolutely everything you want, you want it for the feeling or feelings that you think having that will give you. And I call those feelings the essence of your wish. And when you dial in and really distil the essence down, it's going to change everything for you going forward. It's not only going to make manifesting quicker and easier, but it's also going to deliver gifts to you that you haven't even dreamed were remotely possible. 

I absolutely love this part. This is the most exciting thing for me to show people—the sheer possibilities that are out there that haven't even crossed your mind yet. And these possibilities can only open up when you get really good at identifying the essence or essences of your wish or dream. 

All right. So how do you do it? Let's do an example together. How about money? That's always a good one, we all want more money. Do this example along with me so you really get the gist of how this works, okay? Unless you don't want more money, then pick something else that you want to have in your life. All right, so let's say you want a million dollars in your bank account. The first step to using the Essence tool is to say why, to answer the question: why do you want a million dollars in your bank account? Identify those reasons. 

They might sound something like this: because then I'll be able to travel more. I'll be able to buy that XYZ thing that I want. I won't have to stress so much. I'll be able to work less and spend more time with my family. I'll look successful to others. I'll be able to help my family out. Whatever the reasons, there's no right or wrong here, just your own reasons for wanting a million dollars in your bank account. 

To identify the essence or essences of having a million dollars in your bank account, you want to identify the feelings or how you'll feel when you are able to travel more, buy that XYZ thing, feel less stressed, work less, spend more time with your family, look successful, be able to help your family out. How will you feel when those things are true?

What are those feelings? So maybe traveling more feels adventurous. Maybe being less stressed feels calm and peaceful. Maybe looking successful feels like acceptance and love. Maybe working less and spending more time with your family feels like freedom. So the essences of having a million dollars in your bank account are peace, love, and freedom. 

Oh! I really want to have peace, love, and freedom in my life. But here's the thing, tying your peace, love, and freedom to money or having a million dollars is not going to necessarily bring you peace, love, and freedom. Instead of tying them together, rather focus on manifesting peace, love and freedom. We do this in my Money On Purpose program where you get really clear and concise and focused on what you really want, not what you think you want. And you get really good at discerning exactly what you want out of life, and then in turn this makes it so much easier for life to deliver all of that right to your doorstep.

Because manifesting is really simple and easy, it really is. But if you're not focused on why you want something and how you want to feel when you have it, then you can get pulled around in so many different directions and go down so many different paths and detours and get caught up in stuff that honestly just isn't what you really want, but it's what you think you want. And that's just a big waste of time.

When you focus on the finely distilled essence of your wish or dream, you open up to the most incredible possibilities that you'd never even imagined before. When you get out of focusing on what you think is going to make you happy, but rather focus on the actual essence of what will make you happy, then life can deliver you something even better. 

I've got a great example of this actually with myself. When I wanted to leave corporate, I wanted to move to Africa and work in nature conservation. I love nature, I love animals and I thought, yep, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be like Jane Goodall or Dian Fossey, and I'm just going to go live out in nature. 

But what I did when I was cooking up this transition from working in corporate America to moving to Africa, was I actually focused more on how I wanted to feel. I took everything that I didn't like about my life in Chicago and focused on the opposite of that. So, for example, I hated wearing closed shoes and I didn't like being cold and all bundled up in winter clothes. I didn't like the grey skies. I didn't like the stuffy office air and I was tired of big city life. And I wanted to do something that felt more fulfilling than filling empty shopping centres with retail tenants.

So the opposite of all of that was being barefoot, wearing lightweight clothes, being in a warm, sunny climate, having open windows and open doors with fresh air moving through, being in nature, and doing fulfilling work. And the feelings of all of that was joy, freedom, peace, spaciousness, fulfilment. I focused on the feelings of joy, freedom, peace, spaciousness, and fulfilment. 

I still pursued doing work in nature and after I arrived in Namibia, I was actually very close to working out on a nature reserve. So I'm going for my dreams, I'm focusing on my essences, and I'm taking my steps and moving forward. Until one day, I realize, no, I don't want to live out in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to just be around plants and animals. I do all of a sudden want to work with people. 

And this was a huge surprise for me, because it hadn't crossed my mind at all before. I was very diligently pursuing work in nature conservation and getting closer and closer to actually making that happen. But because I was so focused on how I wanted to feel, that was the most important thing to me, how I wanted to feel. Life started to steer me in another direction, and it surprised me like crazy. I honestly did not see it coming, but I trusted my gut and my heart, and I pivoted from one moment to the next, from one day to the next, from thinking I'm going to be living out with the zebras and cheetahs to becoming a coach, and actually starting to facilitate personal growth workshops. 

And the lifestyle that began to unfold for me was and still is very much full of joy and freedom and peace and spaciousness and fulfilment. But I was willing to be open to the form that the universe wanted to deliver those qualities to me and it's much better than I ever could have imagined back then. Life was steering me away from the form that I thought would bring me those attributes or essences to a form that was much more able to deliver the feelings of joy, freedom, peace, spaciousness, and fulfilment for me.  

The magical thing about working with the Essence tool is that sometimes, and actually more often than you would think, you'll realize you've been wishing for some things for the wrong reasons. And that's okay, because if you've got your essence words dialled in, then pivoting midway can save you so much time and frustration. Knowing why you want what you want plays such a huge part in helping you create your most fulfilling and abundant life.

This is what my Money On Purpose program is all about, helping you to create the life and lifestyle that you really want. The one that makes you feel the way you really want to feel. Not just have what you think is the vehicle for delivering your happiness and prosperity and fulfilment, but actually connecting with the real and authentic happiness, prosperity and fulfilment in ways that you might not even know exist. So if you want to know more about the live Money On Purpose journey that is starting in April, you can get onto the waitlist. I'll link that in the show notes for you. 

All right, are you enjoying the podcast? I would so appreciate if you would leave me a five-star rating and just write a quick review and tell me what you're enjoying the most. This helps me with ideas, but it also helps others to discover the show and get the tools and guidance to create a more fulfilling life for themselves. Because when you heal your money blocks and step into your purpose, you become a force for good in the world. I'll see you next time.