11. Manifest Your Soulmate By Healing Your Money Blocks with Nelao Nengola

Ep #11: Manifest Your Soulmate By Healing Your Money Blocks -with Nelao Nengola

Karen Powell: Hey there, welcome to episode 11. Happy Valentine's Day! Maybe today is a happy day for you, or it could be maybe a sad day or a frustrating day for you. Well, I've got a very special guest with me on the show today. Nelao Nengola is a member of my Money On Purpose community who is a fitness coach turned self-love coach. I thought Nelao would be the perfect guest to have on the podcast for this topic of finding your true love and how the unexpected result of healing your money blocks can lead to manifesting true love. 

I've been running the Money On Purpose program since 2019. And for those who don't know what the program is about, I take you on a journey of healing your money blocks and clarifying your unique purpose in life so that you can make the impact that you want to make in the world. And you know, I always say at the end of these episodes, when you heal your money blocks and step into your purpose, you become a force for good in the world. Well, turns out when you heal your money blocks, you also open up to receiving love. And it all makes sense really, because healing your money blocks or any limiting beliefs that you have is a process of releasing all that stops you from receiving.

So, for the past few years we've been seeing several members in the Money On Purpose program finding their true love after long, dry spells in the love department. And so, I'm so excited for Nelao to share her story today to show us what's possible, not only in love, but also in creating an incredible lifestyle that reflects who you are in every direction you look, which is what living in your purpose is really all about. And Nelao just personifies all of that, so welcome to the show, Nelao.

Nelao Nengola: Hi Karen, what a beautiful introduction. Thank you so much for having me.

Karen Powell: Oh, you're so welcome, thank you so much for being here. And I just want to say thank you so much for being on my 11th episode, because I just heard this crazy statistic the other day that says 88% of podcasts never release more than 10 episodes. So, thank you so much. 

Nelao Nengola: Wow.

Karen Powell: I know. Thank you for helping me get into the top 12% of podcasts. It's so amazing.

Nelao Nengola: That is incredible. What an honor.

Karen Powell: Well, I'm honored to have you here. Thank you so much. There's so much I want to talk about today. Let's start with who you are, what you do, who you serve and how you serve them. Just tell us a little bit about yourself so everyone can get a feel for the wonderful Nelao.

Nelao Nengola: Thank you. So, I have to be honest, Karen, I am in a big transition. And I'm going to let the answers kind of come through me, but I know that this year especially has been kind of a big evolution for me. For the longest I've been calling myself a self-love coach and I still very much resonate with that title, but I know that something bigger and deeper and just more impactful is coming through. My job is to kind of just sit and let it come through. But what I do is I help women heal their limiting beliefs so that they believe that they're truly worthy of, yes, the love that they desire, but the twist is that I'm pushing them to give that love to themselves as the portal to opening up everything else that they desire in their life. So essentially becoming a woman that they love and then manifesting all that they want to come into their life from that intrinsic place of self-worth and self-esteem.

Karen Powell: Oh, that is so beautiful. I love it so much and I love the evolution. And I've been, you know, I've seen you evolve over the years. I've been astounded at your evolution, and how you really show everybody your journey on social media and everything. It's just so inspiring to see you moving in real time from one version of yourself to the next and really evolving and also evolving in the way that you help people, which I love. I mean, when I first met you, you were a fitness coach and you were helping mostly women, I think, right? On their fitness journeys. And now who do you help? Who would you say is the person that you help today and how?

Nelao Nengola: Now I specialize on working with women or black women who have decided to walk the earth in their natural hair. And I brought that component in because it was such a turning point for me. So even after kind of healing all my limiting beliefs and working through the blocks, I didn't realize that how I showed up, like how my external appearance felt like a block for me. So, I felt, or I believed, that I had to look a different way. I thought I had to change my hair in order for the world to like love and embrace me. I focus on that component because it seems very simple, but once you heal, feeling free to show up as who you are naturally so much more opened up to me, and that's why I really I want to focus there.

Karen Powell: Yeah, that's amazing. So, tell me about when you work with women of color, black women, to heal — it's almost like an identity around embracing their natural hair. And you're tying that with self-love. Why is that important? Or what is the role in that?

Nelao Nengola: For me it was really powerful to be able to just show up as I am without having to change anything about myself. Going back to the love I wanted to manifest, I distinctly remember I was still living with my sister at the time, and I said I want to meet someone who loves all of me as and for who I am. And I had started kind of dabbling into this idea of, what if I just show up with my hair as it naturally grows out of my own head? And because I was embracing that, I was like, I also want someone who, me with my natural hair is enough, and they find that beautiful. And it was almost like that last little piece of self-acceptance that I had been fighting because in the world of social media and media representation, you don't always see the woman with her natural hair who feels confident and beautiful and fly in her own image. And so, I wanted to piece that final component together and say, look, this is who I am. From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, I want someone who loves all of that. And if I can learn to love all of that, then I want someone else who can kind of like marvel in the fullness of who I am also. And so, I made that part of my manifesting love experience.

Karen Powell: When you joined Money On Purpose, I think was it 2019, 2020? I can't remember.

Nelao Nengola: At the end of 2018.

Karen Powell: 2018? Okay, so my very first group. And you came for what? You came for the money blocks, releasing money blocks? What was your focus?

Nelao Nengola: Yeah, I came because I wanted to make money, you know, doing what I love. So, I came for the money component of it all. I had actually reached a place where I was like, you know what, this love thing isn't going to happen for me. So, I'm just going to focus on my business and making my money. And then maybe, you know, I'll be like, the rich auntie to my sisters who maybe have their love and their kids and their families. But for me, that's not gonna happen. So, I'm gonna just focus on money. That's initially what brought me to Money On Purpose.

Karen Powell:  Ha ha! Okay, so you let it go? You would actually let go of the possibility of true love? Were you not — I mean, you can share whatever you want — looking at your journey from, you know, what kinds of relationships you were in before, or why did you feel like a true love relationship wasn′t available to you?

Nelao Nengola: Oh absolutely.

Karen Powell: What did that look like or what did that feel like? You know, when you said, okay, I guess it's just not available to me anymore, you know, just kind of giving up on the idea. Where did that come from or what was going on there?

Nelao Nengola: I, so yes, I had given up on it completely because I felt like I kept attracting relationships where I didn't feel valued. I kept attracting potential partners who weren't willing to put me first and just, what is the word? When someone treats you like you're the prize? 

Karen Powell: Prioritize you.

Nelao Nengola: You know, all of those fun, lovey feelings where the person just feels like they're so honored to have you in their life and want to make the most of that. Now, in hindsight, I can say I was kind of attracting very low — low effort, low value — partners that weren't willing to prioritize me. And I was like, okay, what I want, first of all, I've never, I don't see it. I don't see it. I see, yes, people in relationships, I know that relationships are available, but I also knew specifically what I wanted. And because I wasn't seeing that, I just decided to give up, give up on that.

Karen Powell: Yeah, so if I can't have what I want, I'm just going to let it go. So, you came to Money On Purpose for this feeling of, you know, I want to start making money doing what I love. 

Nelao Nengola: Yeah.

Karen Powell: So, going into, you know, why? And I think I remember you saying one time, I'm doing work that I really love — at the time you were doing fitness coaching that you were enjoying— I really love working with women and I love this, but it's not translating into the kind of money that I want to be making, so there must be some kind of block between because I'm doing what I love. So, shouldn't that, you know, what's that saying, do what you love, and the money will follow, right? It's like, is it as easy as that, and you're like hang on a second, why isn't that why isn't that happening right now? 

So, you came to release those money blocks and in the process of that something really astounding happened. And I just remember, you know, I remember you sharing your vision board with us once with, there were pictures of it, like, you know, you kind of left the love thing off or I don't know if you'd eventually put it back on or whatever. I don't remember. Cause we go through a couple of different journeys of the Money On Purpose journey. You know, once you join, you, you can keep coming back every, you know, every live, journey and you know, go to your next level and what you want. I don't remember which exactly it was, but there were things on your vision board like, I think there was a relationship on there maybe, but eventually, but I remember the Eiffel Tower was on there, France was on there, travel was on there. What was on there and tell us about what, tell us about what you've manifested. I think let's just get into that.

Nelao Nengola Okay, so the funny story with my vision board is that, so yes, I came to Money On Purpose for the money and making money living in my purpose and doing what I love. But you pushed us to really dream big. And so, I told myself, I was like, okay, you know, since Karen said dream big, you know, kind of let go of any limitations, just ask for what you want. So, I said, if we're gonna be delusional, let me really ask for what I want. Honestly, I think if it wasn't kind of for you making that an option, making that available to just dream past the limitations, I don't know that I would have asked.

Karen Powell: Ha ha!

Nelao Nengola: So, the vision board, I was like, okay, let's be delusional. This isn't gonna happen anyway. Let me just be honest about what I want. And so, on there I wanted a partner. Love was on there; travel was on there. I did have a picture of the Eiffel Tower because yes, I wanted to go to Paris, but also what that represented for me is just to really dream past anything I've ever seen before. That was kind of what the Eiffel Tower in Paris represented for me because I think at the time I didn't think it was going to happen. 

Karen Powell: It was delusional. Well, you know, the thing is with vision boarding the way I present vision boarding is that it is a little bit different than I think a lot of people in that, yes, I do push people. I love the word delusional because I don't think I've used that. But I think I'm going to start using that now because if that's what pushed you over the edge to just be like, OK, — because I've had people get mad at me; like Karen, please stop. You know, I don't I don't you know, this is ridiculous… 

Nelao Nengola: Hehehe

Karen Powell: And they actually do come back and tell me they were angry with me the way I was pushing them to just stop watering down their dreams, but just say, be honest what you want. But one of the things that I do with my vision boards is that we get into how do you want to feel? You know, what's that feeling that you want to embrace when you are living that lifestyle that you really want to live? When you're living that, you know, that whole Money on Purpose, ideal money on purpose story, which we do in the beginning of the program, it's so delusional, right? It feels so ridiculous. It feels so, so out of reach. So, like, come on, this is really ridiculous. And we have to actually go to those places. We have to go to those places in order to clear out the stuff that's been stopping us from getting there. 

Nelao Nengola: Yes.

Karen Powell: So, when you say that you put the Eiffel Tower on there, that actually represented a feeling. I'm getting goosebumps right now just thinking about this, thinking of you in that moment, putting the Eiffel Tower on there. It was representing a feeling of pushing myself into a place where like I just can't, it just doesn't feel possible right now. But how did you put it? You had a much nicer way of putting it, like, you know, pushing yourself into this place of just way bigger possibility than you could even imagine right now.

Nelao Nengola: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I know that you know that I'm hearing you say that back to me, it's giving me goosebumps as well, because I was in that place where I knew that I wanted more, but  I think I didn't believe it was possible. But also, I'd never had the opportunity to just ask. And so being in that place of putting that vision board together was giving myself permission to. just ask for bigger than I'd ever asked before.

Karen Powell: And this is the key to getting what we want. I just want to outline this right now and just highlight this right now, because this is actually what gets you what you want, is saying what you want and what you don't think you can have. It's one thing to say, oh, yeah, my big dream is X, Y, Z, whatever. But to go to that place where it feels really like a stretch, like I'm really almost embarrassed to even say this, you know, am I even saying this out loud, or it feels delusional? That is actually the place where your blocks live. Right. And that's the whole that's the whole thing about the deep healing of, you know, for instance, our money on purpose journey and really deep healing, healing at the core, the same kind of healing that you do with your clients and your community, is really not just dreaming and manifesting and creating, but actually getting into the place within you where the actual limiting beliefs live. They need to be rooted out. They need to be gently — sometimes, you know, it's very challenging — pulled up to the surface, but the only way to trigger those and to get to those is to actually really be so ultra honest with yourself ; no, I don't just want love, I want true love. I want that kind of love. I don't want just a relationship, I want a relationship where I am put first, where I am put as the priority in this person's life. Not a second or third thought. I want to be number one. And then you put that Eiffel Tower essence, that energy of I want to be taken to places where it's just beyond what I can even imagine today, when you said that Nelao, you actually unlocked magic. You unlocked the magical journey that you went on. Do you feel that? That you had to get to that place of really just put, bringing yourself outside of just saying what you want, but saying what you really…

Nelao Nengola: Yes.

Karen Powell: …secretly want, right?

Nelao Nengola: Yes, yes, yes. Ooh, I love that you said secretly, like, oh, you know, ask for the things that you're almost embarrassed to say, like, am I really asking for this? Who do I think I am to ask for this?! That's the place you wanna go, it's where it feels impossible. And you have to be, you know; one of the things I really learned from you is to be clear and specific and delusional and let it feel scary, so that it does bring up all this stuff.

Karen Powell: Yeah, because that's the magic is when it brings that when it brings up the stuff, that's the beginning of the journey right there. That's where you can start to manifest because manifesting really isn't about creating something. It's not, you know, and I know that we talk about what we're creating and that's the language that we use around manifesting. And I'll probably keep using that language because it's kind of like when you say, you know, the sun rises and the sun sets. It doesn't really rise. It doesn't really set. We all agree, right? We all agree that the sun isn't moving, the earth is moving, but I'm not going to be that person who says, well, actually, the sun doesn't set. It's the earth is moving. So, you know, let's meet for, you know, drinks when the sun, I mean, when the earth is moving, you know, outside of the sun's range. I'm not going to be that person. So, I'm also, you know, it's like we all agree to use sunrise, sunset. And so…

Nelao Nengola: That's so true. Yeah.

Karen Powell: …manifesting is creating, but really what we find out is that manifesting is actually allowing. Manifesting is about allowing yourself to receive. Manifesting is receiving. It's receiving what is already for you. And it's like, it's about…

Nelao Nengola Mm-hmm, absolutely.

Karen Powell: …it's about releasing all the things that are just blocking the way. That's what manifesting is. So, when you dig deep and you say, I really want this, then you are going to that place where all that stuff is sitting there. Like, just imagine like, you know, imagine like going down to your basement. OK, we don't have really basements in Namibia, but like in America, everybody's got basements in their house. Imagine like walking down to the basement and there's just like junk everywhere. And you're trying to get to like the washing machine or something. And there's just junk everywhere in front of you. You just have to get all the stuff out of the way to get into it. And so that's what manifesting is. It's like there's just all this stuff, all this junk that you do not need. It's been down in your basement for a long time, and you don't need it. It's time to let it go and to release it out and to, you know, bring it up the stairs, like haul it up the stairs and…

Nelao Nengola: Yes.

Karen Powell: …put it out onto the curb or, you know, and just let it go. And that is really what manifesting is, it's releasing what's in your way. So, you released what was in your way, hey?

Nelao Nengola: Yes, yes. Absolutely, and this is what I love about your approach to manifesting is that it's different than anything I had ever seen before. And you're absolutely right in that manifesting is about allowing and getting the stuff out of the way that is preventing you from receiving. And going through the program, I specifically remember doing the work and realizing that oh, actually, it's me, I'm the one that's in my way. And that was like a really hard place to be. But then, like you said, when you go down into the basement and you see what's actually there, then you can remove the stuff that is out of the way.

Karen Powell: Hahaha, yeah. You know, I hear people say all the time, there's no good guys, there's no good guys in the world. So, the problem is all the guys, there's just none of them that are good. None of them are what I'm looking for. And that's not true. And I always say, well, how many do you need? How many guys do you want? You just need you just need one, right? Or well, I mean, no judgment, however many, but whatever. But...

Nelao Nengola: Ha ha. Oh my gosh! Whatever you like, yeah.

Karen Powell: …I love that you, you know, just said right now on this podcast episode that that, you know, I realized that it was me, that I was the one who was blocking. I was the one who wasn't allowing access to the good ones, the right person, the one who would put me as a priority, right? So how do you do that for the women that you work with? What do they come to you for specifically? Is it also to find true love and then you show them kind of what's there really?

Nelao Nengola: Yeah, so initially, they came, and this is kind of why I'm changing the program a little bit, they came to me because the one iteration was about manifesting the love that you deserve and desire. And so yes, people came to me to manifest the love that they desire, but what everyone learned in the program, which I think I knew already, is that actually this is about, again, falling in love with yourself. Figuring out, like how I figured out I was the one who was in my way. What do I need to do to get myself out of the way and allow true love to find me? And the key for me and how I work with clients is that you manifest the love or whatever it is you want to manifest by falling in love with yourself first, so that manifestation is coming from a place of intrinsic self-worth and self-value. So, I love myself so much, I'm not going to settle for anything less than what I know I deserve. And that's where I root and focus, in believing that you are worthy of everything you desire.

Karen Powell: Right. And then you'll have, and I remember feeling this myself absolutely at one point in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I′ll love myself once I get the true love that then I'll be able to love myself, right? So, when people hear that, they're like, yeah, yeah, great. And all that sounds fantastic. But you're telling me that it's the other way around. And I remember when you started to create your program and it had a different name. I don't remember what the name was, but I remember when you changed the name to Choosing Me. And so maybe talk about that a little bit. I mean, that's kind of going with what you were just talking about. It's like choosing yourself first and why, and how do you get women to do that?

Nelao Nengola: Yeah, yes, yes. Okay, so what I'm, it's kind of a little preview of the updated version of Choosing Me, but you come into the program and you, again, give yourself permission to ask for the love that you desire or the life that you desire, whatever it is. And then what we do is we figure out, okay, this is what you want. You boldly declare that this is what you want. Now let's figure out what is in the way. And not to trick everyone, but what you're gonna discover is that you are the one who is in your way. So, then that's where healing the limiting beliefs work and changing beliefs happens. It's in that kind of that healing phase.

Karen Powell: Yeah.

Nelao Nengola: And then the fun part where now that you believe that you are a woman to love or the most, I just had this conversation with someone about being the star of your universe. So now that you believe you're the star of your universe, then you can work on the external transformation, which is where I'm bringing back more of the fitness, the health, the reaching of your body goals so that you feel really, really good in your body. And any other external things. So, figuring out what is your signature hairstyle? What is your signature makeup look? We get really specific about choosing what the things you need are as simply as possible, because I also want this to be very actionable. How can you then externally show up confidently in a way that matches those new empowered internal beliefs about who you are? And then you go into the world and integrate and become the woman of your dreams. And when you are the woman of your dreams, inevitably you're going to manifest and attract yes, the love that you desire, but also anything else that you desire in your life.

Karen Powell: Oh yeah, because as we see there's these spill offs of, you know, it's when you heal one area of your life, all the other areas open up for you. And, you know, it must be so empowering actually for women to realize then like, okay, I've always, you know, blamed it on, you know, there's no good guys or, you know, they're just not giving me what I want or whatever. It must actually become empowering when they realize that they can start taking actions that will change the way they feel and in turn change what they are attracting and who they are attracting. You become so empowered that you know it's kind of a bummer that I'm the problem, I mean not problem, but you know what I mean, like I'm the one blocking the manifestation. But it's kind of empowering to know that I can take these actual steps I could come up with.

Nelao Nengola Absolutely.

Karen Powell: A signature hairstyle that feels really exciting and beautiful to me. And I can, you know, have these other, um, you know, goals, fitness goals or, you know, just lifestyle goals that I can start taking action towards. And that's going to affect how I feel, which in turn is going to affect how others feel about me or see me or, you know, how I attract others into my life.

Nelao Nengola: Absolutely, and your standards go way up. For me, that was what truly changed is that my standards went way up, and I learned that, oh, I can actually say no to what I don't want. I feel so good about myself that I'm not giving off the energy of you can treat me like second place. No, the energy I radiate is that I'm first place because I'm first place in my life.

Karen Powell: Oh yeah!

Nelao Nengola: That's how you're gonna treat me. And inevitably that becomes the kind of energy you give out. And so that is the kind of man that you end up attracting is someone who resonates with that and is willing to, not just willing, but like excited to treat you exactly as the prize, as the number one in their life too.

Karen Powell: Oh, yeah, it's not willing, it's like, oh, my gosh, look who look who I've just discovered. Oh, my god. Would you tell us a little bit about how you met your partner? I mean, like spoiler alert, everybody who's listening, Nelao found her true love! So, can you tell us about that? Tell us the story a little bit. I mean, how much you want to share. And I don't know if, you know, maybe he's a very private person. So maybe you don't want, you know, whatever you feel like sharing about how you guys met and how you just that whole journey.

Nelao Nengola: Yeah, he is a very private person so I'm going to share in the best way that I can, that still respects his privacy. But we met at a farmer's green market. There's a green market here in Windhoek and I was there, I think I was either helping my parents sell, you know, we sell marula oil, and I was at a stand selling something and he came over to ask about the thing and when he approached I was so in my own energy I wasn't even thinking about guys. I was just doing me, and I think that energy was, um, very noticeable because I'm just out living my best life and so he came over and asked for you know what I was selling and he seemed very interested and I was like, okay cool, just living me and focused on me. I tried to make the sale and we chatted, but you know we exchanged numbers, and it was for something that he wanted and like, long story short, he ended up not even getting the thing. 

He ended up asking me out on a date and it was just beautiful the way that it unfolded. I'm not even doing the story justice. But really, I just, now in hindsight, just that decision to put myself first really attracted someone who was so excited about putting me first and just like loving on me and being so kind and being so gentle, which was going back to, again, being specific. I asked for — because I'm a very sensitive person — I asked for someone who was going to love me gently. And that asking specifically came through so beautifully because this man just loves me so gently in a way that I didn't even think was possible. And so, we are here now — we have a daughter, we have started this new chapter of life for both of us where we have this baby girl, we're moving you know end of the year to a place I don't we don't even know yet, but we know that it's gonna be just beautiful and exciting for all of us and our little family.

Karen Powell: Oh, my gosh. Oh, your beautiful, little baby. It's just so amazing, I'm so happy for you. And I just I love I mean, you're sitting there just in yourself doing your, you know, doing your thing, selling your marula oil. And he picks up this energy and he walks over to you. I mean, I don't think he was looking to buy anything, Nelao, I think he was…

Nelao Nengola: Uh huh.

Karen Powell: …that was like, oh, yeah, let me get your number so I can whatever, whatever. And then he asked you out, of course. But I just love that visual of him just seeing you and going, wow, and walking over to you, getting the courage up to walk over to this woman who is just standing in her own strong energy, embracing herself, who she is, what she's about, what she's doing. And just, you know, being in your own your own space and not looking for anything else. And he picked up on that. He came over and you guys have been together for a few years now.

Nelao Nengola: Oh yeah, I think this is a little over four, four years ago. Three, four years, yeah. And like I really, I want to bring up the fact that this was, because I think timelines are always fun to see, but Money On Purpose was, I think it was either August or September of 2018, and I met him in December of that year.

Karen Powell: Wow, I'm so happy for you. I am so happy for you.

Nelao Nengola: Of course, you never wanna say that, oh it's gonna happen in three months or whatever, but it can happen quickly when you're so clear and you're so specific about what you want.

Karen Powell: So just a few months after, wow. And like you said, you were so specific about things like, you know, that he puts you first, that when you're getting that specific and granular, that really can demand that it just cuts to the chase. That's, I think that's what I want to tell people, is that when you don't water down your dreams and when you go to that place that almost feels delusional and feels just so out of, out of range, but it's there in your body. I mean, you can feel the, the wish, the, you know, the desire is there.

Nelao Nengola: Yep.

Karen Powell: When you connect with that and use and you get honest about it, you're going to accelerate your manifestations because you're not playing around with, yeah, I can take this or take that or whatever. You just, you know, healing, the healing process is manifesting. Manifesting is healing and healing is manifesting. So, the two go hand-in-hand. And that's the other thing I want to really show people throughout this podcast is that manifesting is not just creating something. It is actually the process of healing what's in the way. That's it. And then when you heal what's in the way, you begin creating what you want. And when you create more of what you want, use you heal more things. And I'm sure you're seeing it's a journey that doesn't end. You just keep up levelling your desires, your things that you want to create go deeper and deeper. 

Do you want to talk a little bit about how the healing process felt? Because I don't like to sugarcoat things for people. I don't want people to think that this is easy because it's not easy. And I really always acknowledge you and everyone else who brings themselves to that place of it's very challenging, painful.

Nelao Nengola: It is intense. I remember that beginning part, because for me, I appreciate how I went through Money on Purpose, because I went all in. And I think that's really what I wanna invite people to do. If you're gonna do, you know, a program like this, you have to go all in. And so, I went all in. I did all the assignments and the work that you had us do. And I just threw myself into the work. And those few months were so intense. I mean, I remember being on the floor crying sometimes because you're just bringing up all this stuff. But with everything, and I think this is something that I learned from you, or we talked through or something like that, but every time something big comes up, you have like a really big cry or very intense, you know, intense feeling. You do feel a release. So yes, it's hard work, but it's worth it. I think, you know, I think anything is hard, Karen. I honestly think not going for your dreams is hard as well. Like, going for your dreams, it's pain.

Karen Powell: It's so painful. It's so painful to not go for your dreams in a different way. It's painful in a different way, yeah.

Nelao Nengola: Yes exactly, painful in a different way. So, if I get to choose the kind of pain, I'd rather choose the kind of pain that ends in me having a life that I love or being a person that I love waking up as. And it is intense, and I think it's really important when coaches don't sugar coat things because sometimes I think manifesting gets a little too kind of watered down and sugar coated. And what I appreciate about the healing process in Money On Purpose is that it is a true life-changing healing journey that goes very deep. If you allow it to give you that transformation, it absolutely will.

Karen Powell: Oh, yeah. I think that I just want to take a second to say that there is no right or wrong for what you want to do in your life. If you want to go for your big dreams, if you don't want to do them, I really appreciate that. You said if you're going to do a program like Money On Purpose or like, you know, probably yours as well, I'm sure any kind of transformational journey, go all in. You know, just go all in so that you get what you came for. And I don't want people to think that it's going to be easy and a cakewalk, because if you come in thinking it's going to be easy, you're going to be like, ah, this is not what I came for. Not that anyone comes for, you know, challenge, but come for what you want, which is I want to be in a different place than where I am right now. I want to be happier. I want to be more abundant. I want to be more prosperous. I want to be more loving. I want to be able to receive more love. I want to be living my purpose. I want to be doing work that I love, that inspires me, that impacts others for good. If you want to be doing something different, then there is a journey to get there. And I just talked in a previous, actually, I think it was episode nine, I talk about the 90-day container that is so important. And I know your program is also 90 days. I was so happy to see that. Because that is the container that you can you know, get actual transformation in. If you go shorter than that, you're going to hit up to that place where you're just about to be on the floor crying and like, it's so hard. And you'll be like, oh, you know, just, oh, OK, I feel better now. And you're not going to get that breakthrough. The breakthroughs happen when you allow yourself to just that keep going. And it's very messy. It's very, whoo, it's, yeah, it's messy.

Nelao Nengola: It is messy, oh my goodness. It's messy and like you said, it's a journey. So, you're gonna have your ups, your downs, your moments where you feel like you're soaring and then you're on the floor again. I think I remember sending a message in the Money On Purpose group where it had been like a few years, at least a year or two since doing Money On Purpose and I was... I was on holiday, I think, at the beautiful Le Mirage in Sossusvlei, and I sent the message in the group. I don't know if you remember this, where I was like, Karen, my life feels like a dream. Everything is incredible. Why am I still experiencing some of these intense feelings? And I remember you talked me through it. But that is just to show that…

Karen Powell: Oh!

Nelao Nengola: …it's not, you don't heal your limiting beliefs or your blocks in like three months and then it's done. This is ongoing, life-changing work. And as you do the work and heal the blocks, you just raise like higher and higher and higher.

Karen Powell: Yes and thank you for bringing that up because it's not a one-and-done. It's not, you will continue to up level your life in ways that you hadn't even thought of doing before. I do remember you sharing that phase that you were going through where you had everything, you had this love, you had this all this travel, you guys were traveling all the time. I was watching you on Instagram and I kind of remember sending you messages on several occasions, like, what kind of dream life is this? What's going on here? You're like in Europe, you're in France, you're in you're here, you're there. I′m just like, what is happening? You know, what kind of dream life did you create here,  Nelao? 

Nelao Nengola: Yeah!

Karen Powell: But it's not one and done. Let's say, you arrive at a kind of a place of healing after you've healed, you have to also — I don't know what the right word is, if it's acclimate or acclimatize. I've had people laugh at both of those words when I say them, but I don't know which one's right —but anyway, whichever one's correct in the way you speak is, you have to also, you know, get used to that new elevation that you're at. It's like your old self is going to try to pull you back and go, who do you think you are? Little Missy flying all over the world and staying at Le Mirage and doing all these things. There will be little remnants that are, you know, I call it the bottom of the barrel, scraping the bottom of the barrel, where there's little remnants of these old limiting beliefs that are trying to, you know, just kind of heckle us a little bit. And we just need to get back in there and just...

Nelao Nengola: Yep. Hehehehe.

Karen Powell: … wash those out and clean those out and, you know, scrape the bottom of the barrel, and get those ones out so that we can just say, now I see I've really released it all, and now I'm on to my next level. So do you feel like if you think back to that place where you were sharing in our Facebook group (we've got a private community in there where you can come 24⁄7, if you're like, hey, I need help, I need support) when you were in that that space going, I'm living the dream right now, and all of a sudden I'm feeling these big feelings again. What do you feel differently? Like was there a transformation from there to here where you are now? Did something shift? Was there a shift?

Nelao Nengola: Hmm, yeah, it definitely was. The way that you explained what was happening was really helpful, because it helped put everything into perspective. And so, with that perspective, then I knew, OK, this is this is what is happening, let me ride this wave. And I remember now, thinking back, that feeling was so intense and clearly it went away at some point because I don't feel it anymore. But the transformation that I noticed is that it's not as painful like being in these beautiful lodges or my partner loving me in the way that he does. All of the things that weren't a normal for me at that time now are normal and they feel like they're my new normal. It feels... calm, it feels at peace, there's no fear, there's no anxiety about losing it all, or oh my gosh, I'm going to mess this up, or oh my gosh, he's going to do this or that. I don't have that anxiety anymore. That new level that I had raised to at that time, that is now my new normal. And it feels calm, and it feels peaceful.

Karen Powell: Yeah, and that's embracing a new identity. That's being able to you know, you really went from one identity to another. And that doesn't happen in like a snap, you know, that that's a process. And then once you're in that new identity, you also have to get used to that new identity and go, OK, no, this really is me. It's your new normal, but it's a process to get to that place where it feels like this is my new normal. It's kind of like the metaphor of the butterfly, when it when it comes out of the cocoon or the chrysalis, it′s wings are wet and it's flopping around. But it's a butterfly, and it's like, hang on a second, I last I looked I was like this little, you know, caterpillar thing walking around on the ground. And now I'm flying. It's like, hang on a second, now I'm staying in these beautiful lodges. I've got this wonderful man who is just loving me in the most incredible way. OK, I just I need to like let these wings dry off a little bit and then I can really feel like I can fly.

Nelao Nengola: Yes, absolutely, absolutely. And I think that cycle kind of just continues. Like now there isn't really anxiety anymore or that fear of losing it all because that was a big thing for me for a long time. But I can feel now that I'm kind of at the threshold of a new kind of level, just stepping into motherhood. I can feel that I'm moving into a new identity where some of those old beliefs are kind of creeping in again. Like, can I really do this? Is this really my life? Do I deserve all of this? Do I deserve to be happy like this? But I know now, I know that, oh, that's just, you're doing that thing you do when you're ready to level up to the next phase of your identity. So, it's not that scary anymore.

Karen Powell: Yeah, you recognize it. And that's the beautiful thing. You see the old thoughts coming back and it's just trying to remind me like a little blinking light, like a little warning: OK, up levelling now, get ready, you know, fasten the safety belt. We're up levelling again. And it's time to go on another on another healing journey.

Nelao Nengola: Yeah.

Karen Powell: I wonder, do you have a couple minutes to speak about your daughter and looking at, the generational wounds or limiting beliefs that get passed down through the generations, which we all have, that have been taught from our mothers, our grandmothers, our great grandmothers, our great-grandmothers, you know, it just goes down the line. When you look at your daughter, and you look at like the healing that you've done for yourself and the trajectory that you've changed for her and for future generations, do you see that? I'm just curious because I see that. I don't know, do you see that or feel that or look at her and think about that at all?

Nelao Nengola: Yes, for sure, for sure. And I think, for me, it even started during my pregnancy; I had the most, like the most peaceful, relaxing pregnancy. And I was talking to my mom about how some of her pregnancies were, where she was still working because she had to work hard to be where she was. Whereas in my pregnancy, I was able to just relax and be home and be in the pool and be on the couch. Like there was no pressure for me to do anything else, other than just be comfortable and just focus on taking care of myself and the baby in this just very soft and ease-filled life. And so even just starting with that for me was a big healing because it felt almost like I got to give that to them. It's me going through the pregnancy, but somehow in my body it felt like this was also a gift to my mother to be able to experience a pregnancy like this, to my grandmother, to my great-grandmother. And just in the way that I, you know, just holding my daughter now and all that I'm trying to do with her now. It has been so healing in my relationship with my mom. 

So, she's three months, so not much is going on, other than just little things like emotions where I'm like, okay, this is how I feel with my daughter. Can I replicate this with my mom now? Can I think of times where maybe, you know, I'm feeling this connection with my daughter and can I... How can I deepen my connection with my mom? Because if I want this with my daughter, I know that my mom wants this with me as well. It's really been so, so healing on so many levels in feeling like, yes, this is between me and my daughter. And yes, these are the things that I want to give her. But it just feels like it's kind of rippling out somehow. And maybe this is something I wanna look deeper into, but I can feel that it's been healing.

Karen Powell: Oh, my goodness, that is so beautiful, wow. I've recently connected with that energy of my grandmother in that same way, of just thinking about what she went through and what my mother went through and how motherhood was so much different than what I've created for myself and my daughter. I knew this story, but then I really thought about it and I realized my grandmother, when she was in her, I think mid-20s or young, you know, early 20s, she had my mom, who was three, I think, or four years old at the time, living in the then Czechoslovakia and getting on a boat to immigrate because her husband, my grandfather had already immigrated to America. There she said goodbye to her mother forever because you don't just sail back. You know, you don't. And she said goodbye to her mother forever and took her little three-year-old daughter, got on a boat for weeks. I don't know how many weeks, a couple, two, three weeks or something like that. And went to a place they didn't know. And I think about what she went through and how…

Nelao Nengola: Wow. Oh. Right.

Karen Powell: …you know how that hardship was just the way it was. Just the way it was in just changing that you know that experience of motherhood and just really honoring what our mothers our grandmothers our great grandmothers our great grandmothers what they went through what they experienced.

Nelao Nengola: Oh my gosh, yes. That is such a beautiful story. And it reminds me of my great-grandmother. So, my great grandmother, from the little that I know from the stories, she was married in polygamy, and she had this husband who was kind of abusive, not treating her very well. And she ran away to build her own homestead, and I think was learning about a more, I'm paraphrasing, more love-filled, kind, faith-filled life when she ran away and built her homestead and found Christianity. And the religion, I think of it, has nothing to do with it, but when I hear that story, it feels like someone who was searching for something better and bigger and better feeling. And so being able to live a life that is for me feels, again, I was in a place of wanting bigger and better and better feeling. It almost feels like it's like a dream come true, not just for me, but like for my great grandmother as well. And I know that it ties, there's a thread from my great grandmother wanting something bigger and better feeling through to my grandmother, through to my mother, through to me, which is going to go straight through to my daughter.

Karen Powell: Oh, my goodness, I've got tears in my eyes right now. Just that's exactly what I was thinking when you were telling me, did you say this was your great-grandmother or your grandmother? Your great-grandmother? Nelao, you are your great-grandmother's wildest dream, I'm getting so emotional thinking about this.

Nelao Nengola: My great-grandmother. Right?! Oh, that is giving me chills, too!

Karen Powell: Look what you've created by saying what you really want in your life, by claiming that and being audacious and being delusional and you know, stretching yourself. And I don't think it's delusional. I don't think it's audacious. I think it is actually us, you know, connecting with what is already ours. What is ready to be healed? Because our bodies want to heal. Our psyches want to heal. Our minds want to heal. You know, healing is a natural process. And it's a process that is there when we support it, it happens. You know, it's a process and it flows, and it happens to you. It happens for you. So, you allow that healing to come in because you said, I want this thing. And wow, was that, if that wasn't your great-grandmother, you know, living out her wildest dream, I don't know what is. Beautiful.

Nelao Nengola: Yeah, I know. Oh, it's so beautiful. This makes me so, so happy.

Karen Powell: Really beautiful. And I feel like, you know, that I am actually I lived out my great grandmother's wildest dream by being in America, although now I've moved from America. She's like, hang on, our dream was that we went to America now. And now my daughter's gone, you know, she's in America. And it's just this all these opportunities that were opened up because they dare to dream, you know, and then that just gets passed down through the generations. And beautiful if you can allow yourself to connect with those big dreams so that you can allow them to happen so that you can allow yourself to receive them.

Nelao Nengola: Right!

Karen Powell: Oh, Nelao, you know what? I think this is a really good place to wrap up. We're at, you know, we're at about an hour or so. I think this is a good place to wrap up. And just I want to thank you so much for all that you shared with us today. I know that someone is going to look at manifesting true love in a whole new way because of what you've shared. You are such an inspiration to me. And I just love the work you're doing in the world. It's such important work.

Nelao Nengola: Yeah.

Karen Powell: And it's helping women of color really just to heal ancestral wounds, to, you know, to turn the trajectory of the future generations to creating more beautiful, easeful lives. And I love that you use the word, you know, gentle and easeful and that those are the essences of these qualities that you wanted to create more of in your life. And it's showing up in all these different ways in your life, not just in your relationship, but also just your lifestyle, the way that you're able to live, which your great grandmother would have just loved to see. And I'm sure she's seeing it right now.

Nelao Nengola: Yes, yes, it is such a gift. It really is such a gift.

Karen Powell: Is there anything else that you would like to share with my community and your community and whoever is listening that you'd like to maybe touch on today that we didn't touch on, or anything else that's come up before we wrap up?

Nelao Nengola: Yeah, I think the biggest thing is just to ask, right? And I think that it sounds like a very simple thing to tell someone to just ask for what you desire, ask for it boldly, ask for it specifically, ask for it honestly, but just that small act of having the courage to ask will truly transform your life. And there are a million other things that I could say, but I'm gonna just keep it at that one, is invite people to ask for the love that they desire or whatever else they're dreaming of. If it is a career, if it is to move to another country, or to travel more or start a business, whatever it is, find love, just ask for it. Boldly and specifically and then like watch your life transform.

Karen Powell: Oh god, that's beautiful. And what I love is the simplicity of that. Like you said, you can talk about a lot of different things, but really, when it comes down to it, the simplicity of creating a beautiful life and lifestyle starts with being honest with yourself and asking for what you truly want, not watering it down, not thinking, well, I can't have what I really want. So let me just make it easier on the universe to give me this other thing. Thank you. I couldn't have said that more beautifully like you just said. Thank you so much.

Where can people find you on social media if somebody wants to see who is this, and also I want more of this woman. Where can they find you? And then I also want you to tell us when Choosing Me or if you've changed the name or when is your program opening up? And we'll put that link in the show notes too, so people can just click on that and see where they can find out more about your program.

Nelao Nengola: Yeah, so I am most active on Instagram. I love Instagram, so I'm just gonna say you'll find me on Instagram. And then also my website, which is nelaonengola.com. And for Choosing Me, I'm going to keep it Choosing Me because I just love what that symbolizes. This year I am on sabbatical, I guess it's a birthing sabbatical and it's funny because I say birthing sabbatical for my daughter but also I think this program, this new iteration of this program is also being birthed through me. And so, the next time I'll run it will be in 2025. I would still say definitely follow me for this year because I will be sharing a lot about the program; you're going to see me do my own kind of re-transformation going through the program. And so come, it's gonna be fun. I know that 2025 version of Choosing Me is gonna be incredible. But yeah, I'm really excited.

And also, I'm so thankful for being here and being part of your beautiful new podcast. I'm so excited for where your podcast is going to go because... Transformation, I think sometimes people think they need to do this whole giant thing, but just listening to a podcast like this could transform your life if you apply all the things that you're hearing. So, thank you for having me, Karen.

Karen Powell: Oh, thank you so much, Nelao, for being my first guest on my new podcast. I'm so honored. And absolutely, if somebody is just listening to this one episode and hears your one directive of dream big and don't, you know, don't water it down, just be specific on what you want, that can change your life, absolutely. Thank you so much. 

Nelao Nengola: Oh wow. Thank you, Karen.

Karen Powell: Follow Nelao on social media, on Instagram. You will get so much value, even though your program's only starting in 2025 again or opening up in 2025 again. There's so much value in what you share every day on Instagram with just your own journey and so much transformation that is so beautiful to watch and to apply. So, thank you.

Nelao Nengola: Yes, thank you.

Karen Powell: Thank you so much for joining Nelao and me today. Share the episode on Instagram and tag us because we'd love to hear what you received from listening today. So much can happen when you heal your money blocks and step into your life's purpose. You not only become a force for good in the world, but you might also just find your true love. I'll see you next time.